Refusing Employer Advances

Hi, Anita:

I have a huge problem that I need help addressing. Just recently we had a change in management and my new manager has been making comments that make me very uncomfortable and are beginning to creep me out. I do not want to quit my job. I just want this to stop! Help!

Dear, Avoiding Awkward Advances:

There is almost nothing worse than feeling uncomfortable and uneasy in your workplace. It is unfair and illegal to be made to feel this way. Sexual harassment is a very touchy subject can teeter between intentional advances and harmless playful comments. Your problem may need a simple straightening out, or it could take further action. Now let us get down to how to fix the problem, shall we?

Man_Call_meAs uncomfortable and cringe-worthy as this may sound, confronting the person in a respectful and professional manner should be your first step. It may be a misunderstanding, or the aggressor may not find his/her comments to be threatening or off-putting. If this is the case, you can sweep the problem off your plate and continue on with your work. It may be good to send an email notifying the person of how you are feeling in case you need additional support if things take a turn for the worst.

If it continues, begin writing down every time your supervisor makes comments or actions toward you that make you feel uneasy. Note the time, date, place, and detailed description of the incident. These notes will come in handy later down the line. Be sure to keep these notes in a safe place where they cannot be accessed by your manager or other co-workers. Your personal computer is a good place for these.

Immediately report the incident to Human Resources. Request a one-on-one meeting with your HR Rep. All discussions between Woman_Concernedyou and your HR rep should be confidential, but it can’t hurt to reiterate your desire for discretion before you begin speaking. Bring any documentation and explain how this makes you feel. Do not hold back. You deserve to work in a comfortable environment.

Remember that you should never be ashamed for the way you feel. If you are uncomfortable, it is your right to stand up for yourself. Who knows? You may not be the only one experiencing these advances.

Take a look at this short video about how to recognize and handle sexual harassment in your workplace:

Readers: What other actions could you recommend that will help resolve this issue? Have you been in a similar situation that you are willing to share?

Have a question you would like to ask? Visit http://anitaclew.com/ask-anita/.

Warm Wishes,

Anita

Bring Your Own Lunch, Bandit!

A reader writes…

Dear Anita,

I always thought people stealing food at the office was just an old wives’ tale…but this morning I was proved wrong! It looks like there is a thief in my office building who has gotten their little stealing hands on my lunch!!!! *Annoyed* What can I do to feel safe about putting my lunch in the company fridge again?

Dear, Hurt and Hungry,

Thanks for the question and so sorry to hear about your snatched snacks! It is hard to believe that in this day and age, people (much less, adults) have not yet learned the principle of what’s mine is not yours. I always thought it was just a formality at the workplace to remind everyone that food theft was not to be tolerated and against the rules.

I cannot for the life of me figure out why people continue to feel entitled to the things that are not theirs. As much as I would like to become Anita Clew, the caped crusader out to defeat the Lunch Sack Snackers of the world, I can’t. But what I can do is give you a few tips to discourage thievery and bring peace back to the lunch room.Lunch Bag

One way to deter those who are eyeballing your next meal is to go with a frozen entrée or a self-stable meal, like soup, for your lunch selection. These foods are not easily concealed and require a microwave to make them edible again. I would think, hopefully, that the culprit would know that it would be a risky move to wait at the scene of the crime to heat up their booty. Just the scent of the food while it cooks and is being enjoyed would be a dead giveaway.

Another option is to bring your lunch disassembled. If, for instance, you bring a sandwich every day, take the time to separate out the meat and cheeses, the bread, the vegetables, and the condiments. It may seem like a lot of work to do, but that is the whole point. As mentioned above, most thieves are looking for a quick and easy escape to cover their tTuna Sandwich Named Kevinracks. Assembling your afternoon masterpiece will probably not fit into their busy schedule.

Bring your lunch in clearly labeled non-disposable containers and in a reusable bag. Not only is this
earth-friendly, but they are easily recognizable. You will be cutting down on the cost (financially and environmentally) in the process and make your delicious lunchtime treats distinguishable. This will rule out any excuse that someone had “mistaken” your lunch for theirs and be harder to conceal while someone is unlawfully devouring it.

Give these tips a try and if you still have no success, maybe you could convince your boss to let you move your desk to the lunch room or install a “Mission Impossible”-esque, thievery deterrent system to keep robbers at bay! Well…that may be a little extreme, but it can’t hurt to dream!

For a few laughs, check out this video from Westaff about the things bad employees do by viewing below or clicking here.

Have a question you would like to ask? Visit http://anitaclew.com/ask-anita/.

Best,

Anita Clew

Disclaimer

Anita Clew's blog posts are intended for general guidance and should never be taken as legal advice. In all instances where harassment, inequity, or unfair treatment is believed to be present, please consult your HR Department or legal representation.
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